We had a virtual coffee recently with Stella Stead about the importance of self-belief in leadership, especially within the early learning sector. Stella shares her experiences and strategies for developing confidence in emerging leaders and addressing common challenges.
Stella, is there something on your mind at the moment, perhaps a burning topic that you would like to address?
I think for me, it’s always about getting people to believe in themselves as leaders.
Considering all the things that people involved in early learning should be paying attention to, why is this so important?
It’s really important because a lot of people are placed into leadership roles sometimes when they’re not ready, or because somebody has left, creating a gap to fill. If it’s not their passion or purpose, or if it’s not their time yet, they can feel really overwhelmed and not know where to start. That’s why I feel it’s crucial. Early learning environments are unique because they demand not only educational expertise but also a nurturing attitude and excellent interpersonal skills. When leaders in this sector doubt their abilities, it can negatively impact both staff and children. Confidence is essential to create a positive atmosphere and drive forward-looking initiatives.
How do you come across people who realise they’re in that situation? Do they reach out to you via email or phone call? What tends to be the next step?
Absolutely, I’ll either get an inbox message or a phone call, or someone might connect with me through LinkedIn or my socials. They resonate with something I’ve shared or written and think, “I need that extra bit of assistance.” It’s important to seek a mentor or a coach if you want to evolve. Many people reach out when they’ve hit a barrier or don’t know what to do next on their own. You can learn much more with more perspective rather than on your own, as there are many barriers like communication or lack of experience that can hinder progress. People often feel isolated in their struggles, but reaching out for help can provide new perspectives and solutions that they might not have considered on their own.
That’s quite universal, not just in early learning but in many different settings where promotions require new skills. How do you go about instilling belief in leaders?
By encouraging positive self-talk and replacing negative self-talk with positive affirmations, focusing on strengths and past successes. If you don’t focus on your strengths, it can take up to nine years to get it right. Leveraging your strengths is much more effective. I always emphasise the importance of reflecting on past achievements, no matter how small they seem. This helps build a foundation of confidence. Additionally, setting realistic goals and celebrating small wins can significantly boost a leader’s confidence. It’s about creating a habit of recognising and appreciating one’s own capabilities.
Could you share an example of what that might look like in context?
Sure. Imposter syndrome really undermines self-confidence and causes leaders to doubt their own capabilities and achievements, which can hinder decision-making and effective leadership. For instance, if you’re dealing with a challenging parent or staff member and lack self-confidence, you might think, “I shouldn’t be in this role; I got it by luck.” But with self-belief, you can say, “I’m here because I know my stuff, and I know how to guide this conversation.” Let me give you a more detailed example: Imagine a new leader in an early learning centre who is faced with a particularly challenging situation, such as a conflict between staff members. Without self-belief, this leader might second-guess every decision, worry excessively about the outcome, and avoid addressing the conflict directly. However, with strong self-belief, the leader would approach the situation with confidence, communicate clearly and assertively, and work towards a resolution knowing they have the skills and judgment to handle it effectively.
How does one know they’ve reached a degree of comfort or belief in themselves as a leader?
When they can look at fear head-on and come through the other side. Reflecting on oneself and recognising that you have the skills to be an incredible leader is key. After handling a difficult conversation successfully, you start to believe in yourself and know that it’s not luck but competence. Confidence is built through these experiences. It’s also about recognising growth – seeing that situations which once felt overwhelming are now manageable is a clear sign of increased self-belief. Leaders will notice that they approach problems with a solutions-oriented mindset rather than feeling paralysed by doubt.
That’s really insightful. Is there a dynamic between technical skills and soft skills in leadership?
Anyone can learn technical skills from a book, but soft skills come from experience. You can know how to open a computer and do a spreadsheet, but dealing with two staff members who disagree requires interpersonal skills. These skills can’t be taught from a textbook; they come from experience and mistakes. My leadership style has evolved over 27 years through experience, not just theory. For example, in early learning environments, understanding developmental psychology and educational theories (technical skills) is crucial, but equally important are the soft skills like empathy, active listening, and effective communication. These allow leaders to connect with their team and foster a positive, collaborative environment.
It’s challenging to manage a team, especially when there are disagreements. How do you approach such situations proactively?
Conflict resolution is a prevalent topic with emerging leaders. Many need to build confidence in their conflict resolution skills. Stats show that people would rather leave their job than have a direct conversation with their leader. Building trust within your team is crucial so that direct conversations are seen as constructive criticism, not personal attacks. Emerging leaders often need to develop the skill to have direct conversations without feeling like the bad person. For instance, proactive conflict resolution involves setting clear expectations, fostering an open-door policy, and providing regular feedback. It’s about creating a culture where team members feel safe to express concerns and know that their issues will be addressed fairly and constructively.
Can you elaborate on how trust within a team can be built effectively?
Trust is built through consistency, transparency, and empathy. Consistency means that you follow through on your promises and maintain a steady approach in your leadership style. Transparency involves being open about your decision-making processes and communicating clearly about changes and expectations. Empathy is about understanding and valuing your team members’ perspectives and experiences. When leaders show that they genuinely care about their team members’ well-being and professional growth, trust is naturally established. Regular team-building activities, open forums for discussion, and acknowledging and appreciating team efforts also contribute significantly to building trust.
How do you handle situations where trust has been broken or is lacking?
Rebuilding trust takes time and a commitment to honest and open communication. It involves acknowledging the issue, taking responsibility, and demonstrating through actions that you are working to rebuild trust. This might include regular check-ins with team members, being more transparent with information, and showing consistent support and reliability. It’s also important to listen to feedback and be willing to make changes based on that feedback. Apologising for mistakes and showing a genuine commitment to improvement can go a long way in repairing damaged trust.
Are there any specific strategies you recommend for leaders to enhance their soft skills?
Absolutely. One effective strategy is seeking feedback regularly. This helps leaders understand how they are perceived and identify areas for improvement. Another strategy is to engage in continuous learning through workshops, courses, and reading. Practicing active listening and empathy in daily interactions is also crucial. Role-playing different scenarios and reflecting on past experiences to learn from them can further enhance soft skills. Mentorship and coaching are invaluable as they provide personalised guidance and support in developing these skills.
We loved speaking to Stella. If you or someone you know has a story to share, we’d love to have a discussion. Let us know via the website, Facebook or LinkedIn.