In early childhood education, the focus is always on the child – their development, their learning, and their well-being. But what if the way we approach interactions with children could be even more effective and supportive? This is where the concept of attachment theory and Circle of Security Parenting for educators (COSP – Educator) come into play. Today, we delve into a conversation with Connie Borg, a seasoned expert in early childhood education with over 25 years of experience, specialising in infants and toddlers. She shares her insights on how understanding attachment can transform the way educators interact with children, leading to more secure, confident, and emotionally regulated children.

What’s the number one thing on your mind right now in the realm of early childhood education?

Currently, I’m focused on educators (COSP – Educator) within the early education sector. It’s about delving into attachment theory and understanding how it significantly impacts the relationship between a child and their educator. This knowledge helps educators foster more secure and meaningful connections with the children which supports children’s overall wellbeing.

Is this a recent interest, or has attachment theory always been a focus for you?

Attachment theory, based on the work of John Bowlby, has been around for a long time. It’s not a new concept but is a well-established research theory. Initially, COSP it was designed as a parenting course; however, it was realised that the principles of attachment are equally applicable in early childhood education assisting educators in shifting the focus away from changing a child’s behaviours with rewards and punishment to seeing behaviour as communication of a need on the Circle. This has led to the development of COSP – Educator, aiming to deepen understanding of how attachments influence a child’s learning and development. The key for me is assisting educators to translate this theory into practice.

How aware are early learning services, in your experience, of attachment theory and its day-to-day applications?

Typically, educators learn about attachment theory during their training, such as diploma courses, but it often remains abstract. It’s not until they’re actively working with children that they truly see it in play. There’s a general belief that relationships are important, but sometimes a hesitancy to become ‘too attached’. COSP – Educator illuminates how attachment operates everywhere. It emphasises the importance of a secure base for children to explore from, and a safe haven to return to for comfort and protection. Educators need to let children go out, but also allow them to come back in. We often see that many things can get in the way of educators allowing this. These barriers are what we call ‘shark music’.

What do you mean by shark music?

Shark music is the internal barriers that prevent educators from fully meeting children’s needs. For example, when a child is upset and crying, a dismissive response from an educator, like “you’re okay,” can actually inhibit the child. COSP – Educator is a needs-based program focusing on what children need in the moment and how educators can be present to support them in these needs.

You touched on the abstract nature of attachment theory during training. Do you think this needs to be addressed for better translation into practice?

Absolutely. The Early Years Learning Framework (EYLF) and National Quality Standards (NQS) discuss attachment, but I’m not sure if everyone fully understands its importance and how to enable it. Some educators naturally respond to children’s needs effectively, while others need to consciously work at it, especially when things get in the way. A big hurdle is working with dysregulated children, a common example is when children are hitting or hurting others. If educators believe ‘children shouldn’t argue back and must do as they are told’, they tend to resort to “what I call going into combat with the child,” rather than supporting the child’s needs. As Educators we need to move away from a control-based approach to a needs-based approach.

It sounds like it’s quite a shift in mindset. For educators who have had success bridging the gap from abstract theory to practical application, what have been some of the key tools or approaches?

The key is reflection—really reflecting on how their actions impact a child’s world. I often get asked to come in and observe a child’s behaviour, but many times, it’s the educators’ pedagogy that is eliciting those responses. When educators can reflect they are more able to see how the educators reaction or action can trigger children. The most reflective educators are the ones who find the Circle of Security concepts really resonate with them. Another concept within the circle of security framework is “being with,” which involves sitting with children in their upset without needing to fix the situation. When a child’s upset because their drawing ripped, we need to go, yeah, that must be really hard instead of saying, “Oh, I’ll just get you another one.” It’s important for children to know it’s okay to feel upset. This teaches children how to regulate their own feelings in a functional way.

So, it’s about equipping both educators and children with the necessary tools. It sounds like for some educators who don’t have these natural skills, it can be a big hurdle to overcome.

Yes, absolutely. If an educator has their own insecure attachment style, they tend to bring that into their relationships with children. We help educators understand attachment styles in children—their tendencies to seek connection. For example, a child who hits may be seeking connection in a negative way. The educator then helps the child learn more positive ways of seeking connection. It’s about understanding that the relationship with the child is key to the child’s success.

Could you elaborate on how educators support children through the Circle of Security framework?

COSP includes the practices of ‘watch over me’, ‘delight in me’ and ‘enjoy with me’, for when the children are off exploring. When children know they are being watched over, they know they are safe. Children need adults to delight in them, to see them and for educators to show that they enjoy being around them. When children are struggling, they need ‘protection’ which means understanding and empathy and support in those moments of need. We also need to be ‘delighted’ even when children are coming in upset, they still need to know that we love them. Lastly we need to ‘organise their feelings’, so when they are feeling dysregulated and upset we can help them to understand their big feelings and to help them to regulate through co regulation. These practices support attachment, and facilitate children’s.

From a child’s perspective, how does experiencing a secure attachment environment impact their overall development?

When children know that they are in a safe place and there are people who are there to support them and they can trust, they become more relaxed and trusting. They are more relaxed to explore and to be themselves and to know that adults will be there for them when they need it. Children also become more confident in building healthy relationships with other children, which means they don’t rely on negative behaviours to make connections with others. For example, children who disrupt other children by hitting or teasing can instead, if they have the skills, seek connection in more positive ways such as using language. When a child is close by, an educator can then teach them better ways of connecting.

For those reading this who are resonating with these concepts, where can they go to learn more?

Firstly, you can check out the Circle of Security International website for information and videos about COSP which will include information for parents, carers, and educators. If any parents are reading this, they are eligible to enrol in an 8-chapter parenting course either online or face to face, which will be useful for people working in childhood settings or schools. I also deliver the Circle of Security training to centres as part of Child Australia, and I run a two-hour PD on the basics of COSP.

That’s excellent! We’ll definitely include those links in our blog post. You mentioned the program is helpful for parents. As a parent myself, I can see the immense value it would provide.

Absolutely! It’s common for educators to say they wish they had known about these principles when their children were young. It helps shift perspectives.

Reflecting on that, as an individual, it seems useful for parents too, as it can be difficult to manage our own emotions, especially when responding to our children. I find this quite a useful framework!

Yes, another key concept is ‘rupture and repair.’ It acknowledges that we’re not perfect and we’ll make mistakes. ‘Rupture’ is when we take our hand off the ‘circle’ and ‘repair’ is when we go back to our child and make up from that moment. This approach focuses on what happens after we make mistakes. We all experience emotional challenges or stresses that affect our capacity. COSP can help educators understand when their own ‘shark music’ is playing. When you have an awareness of this, you can take a breath, and take a moment, or perhaps even ask someone else to step in if you can’t manage. It really emphasises that this program is not about perfection but a process of change and growth.

Finally, How does this knowledge of Circle of Security benefit educators when relating to parents and their children?

With a sound understanding of COSP, educators can recognise tension points between parents and children. For example, If they notice a negative separation routine, they can support the parent to say goodbye in a way that creates positive outcomes for the child. This way parents go home, go to work feeling settled, and not stressed about leaving their child. It’s not about being a therapist, or saying, ‘I think you have a poor attachment’, but instead working with the family to understand the needs of the child. Understanding that children often need a few more minutes and a positive departure experience. COSP can greatly benefit the whole family dynamic.

Resources:

* www.circleofsecurityinternational.com
* To enquire about Circle of Security training for your centre please reach out to Child Australia.
* Stay tuned for details about Connie’s upcoming 2 hour PD session on the basics of Circle of Security!

If you enjoyed this conversation, don’t miss the chance to hear Connie Borg live, alongside a lineup of incredible speakers at the Early Childhood Learning & Development Conference on 8 March 2025 at Optus Stadium in Perth, WA. With the theme Empower, Nurture, Flourish; this event promises to inspire fresh ideas and approaches to early childhood education. Join us for Lucy’s breakout session, where she’ll dive deeper into navigating emotions and the role of co-regulation in early childhood. It’s an event you won’t want to miss! On the day don’t forget to visit 1Place at the Exhibition Playground during the breaks. Book your ticket now!

Conference: ECLD 2025 – Conference WA – Child Australia ECLD

Tickets: https://events.humanitix.com/early-childhood-learning-and-development-conference-2025

ECLD Conference 2025